My friend, Melanie, knows what a struggle it's been for me to be away from my writing for so long. A career change, some major "life" events, getting used to working full time again, health problems, relationship issues, and remodeling my home have all added up to a necessary sacrifice on my part. But...I'm not happy when I'm not writing. So Mel challenged me to write just one sh*tty page today. Fifteen minutes of my time. Free-write, whatever, so long as I was writing something.
I did and it was awful -- but I loved it :)
Can it be done? One page per day, good or bad? Just trying to fit it in gives me fits of anxiety because, at the end of the day, I already have so much weighing on my mind that I should have done but just couldn't find the time to do. However, we hear all the time that it's important to carve time out of our schedules to nurture the soul, right? Maybe lunch hour.... I wonder, though, if it will be worth it, writing a page of crap. Reasonably, the act of writing will eventually effect an improvement, I would hope. I seem to have forgotten so much about my stories. Maybe it would be better to start with a short story, and work my way up to writing a page a day on a novel.
It all seems so big and overwhelming, but one page a day, now that sounds possible.
It can't hurt to try.
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ReplyDeleteSorry, I had to seriously trim that last post... So here is the edited version:
ReplyDeleteI'm wearing my writer mask here ;)
Is your life an assembly line, Jane? Should you be judged by your amount of output? Are we not more than the sum of that which we consume?
You do what you can. And that which you can't... well, who cares? Why worry about things you have no control over. You can only do your best. Your life is only so long. To be honest, I've never heard of anyone being remembered as "Oh, she's the one who didn't go to every PTA meeting." "Did you hear? She also got really sick and had to miss one of her son's football games!" I'm sorry... My parents did not go to a single tennis match in my entire high school career. My mom did not belong to PTA (because she knew that the poor sucker who did was stuck doing EVERYTHING for a bunch of ingrates). But my dad had a second shift job and we only had one car. They did what they could. And I didn't notice a lack of anything... Being there as a parent does not mean doing everything. Doing everything means that you are too busy doing everything to be there for your kids, to give them what they REALLY need. And that is your happiness, your comfort. "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."
And stop using this big busy life of yours as an excuse to avoid writing. Why are you REALLY afraid to write? Are you afraid to face that core of feelings you have inside you, afraid that you will explode after all these years of things building up? Afraid to tap into it to get the feelings for your characters, because you're afraid of that rawness? That's the real you, Jane. Unleash the beast. Let it roar. Stop clinging to fear and grasp the bull by its horns. Take it from someone who knows. I was afraid to let go enough to write. After years of deaths and illnesses and loss and fear, I had lost the courage to look within myself--that thing you NEED to be a good writer. But a couple weeks ago, I decided, i'm not afraid anymore. And it's really not that bad.
Lol good rant, but I don't even have time for PTA! Hannah bakes brownies for the meetings and Vern drops them off. I'm just not able to fit anything else into my day. When I can, I write paragraphs here and there, or I draw. But most of my "free" time is spent hanging out with my family, or going to one of Sean's games. Usually, though, we are all if us working on the house. When you can't afford to pay someone to do the work, then you have to work together as a family to get it done. Last weekend, we shoveled 10.22 tons of rock! Ouch :) at the end of the day, I was so tired I didn't even want to read, let alone write! Butbi know we will finish and I will adjust to working full time so I will make time for writing.
ReplyDeleteUgh, I know all about DYI. The stairs are the first project we have hired out to do, only because we tried and just...well, it was not happening. The previous people had really made a mess of things. Last year we did that with concrete chunks rather than rocks...I cannot believe how much concrete we still have to get rid of.
ReplyDeleteHere's to January!
I'm finally catching up on my "HeartsBlood" give away.
ReplyDeleteHere is the link and the 100% off coupon for your copy. :-)
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/30950
Use at checkout: RL39D
I have followed your blog as well.
It was such a blur on Monday that I am not sure if you followed mine.
No big deal, just if you haven't and you have some time if you could that would be great! :-)